Canth Clroy

Who am I?
Movie Reviews
Canth's Old Blog
The Face of Lincoln
Deep Thoughts
Cat meets Fish
Lost Mittens
Sad Cat
Canth Comics
Canca Dances
Canth the Jedi
Star Trek Island
My Demon Cat 2
Fighting G.I. Joes
Quote Challenge
Cat Meets Dog
Vader drinks Coffee
Star Wars & Trek
Dancing G.I. Joe
More Dancin' G.I. Joe
Canth Movie
My Demon Cat
Dirty X-Mas Cards
Star Trek Toys
Stupid Fly
Pen Gore
More Pen Gore
Safety Slug
Election Conspiracy
Dot Madness
Tic Tac Toe
Elf Jokes
The new $20 stinks
Sports puns

Recommended Sites...

The Tom Bowl

The Alternate Earth Research Center




Canth's Defunct BLOG

This if my first blog. I had zero readers so I stopped writing it.


July 17th, 2007

Does anyone care that I haven’t posted anything since January?

It is hard

January 29th, 2007

To make homemade Chinese food.


January 27th, 2007

I saw a Simpson’s episode where Homer called his trampoline a “tramapoline” so for a long time if someone said trampoline, I felt compelled to say tramapoline. I am trying very hard to stop doing this because some of the people who are around me a lot have grown tired of this tramapoline stuff. On a side note, I came home and saw that the trampoline was heavily weighed down with snow. Turns out it wasn’t snow, it was ice. Getting all that ice off the trampoline was a lot freakin’ harder than I thought it would be.

Thomas Dewey

January 26th, 2007

I was reading an article about Thomas Dewey who ran for president against FDR in 1944 and again against Truman in 1948. That’s the one with the famous picture of Truman holding up the “Dewey Defeats Truman” newspaper. If you don’t know much about it Truman won when everyone thought Dewey would win. Dewey didn’t campaign very hard he just sat back and tried very hard not to do anything to cost him votes. The Louisville paper summed up his campaign like this:

No presidential candidate in the future will be so inept that four of his major speeches can be boiled down to these historic four sentences: Agriculture is important. Our rivers are full of fish. You cannot have freedom without liberty. Our future lies ahead.

I find that amusing.

Detroit Lions

October 9th, 2006

Yesterday the Lions snatched defeat from the jaws of victory once again and a strange thing happened. I didn’t care. I had no emotional reaction to the loss. The Lions have finally done it. They’ve placed me in a state of apathy. I no longer have the energy to invest anything in the team. How sad is that?


October 5th, 2006

When you think about it, peas are really not all that exciting.

Suicidal Bug

October 4th, 2006

So the other day I made a cup of coffee and set down on the counter. A small bug, not sure what kind, not a fly either. One of those bugs that you see but you don’t know what it is. It flew down toward the coffee and then landed on the lip of the cup. I thought “Phew, it didn’t go in” and then the little bugger jumped off the edge and into the coffee.



September 20th, 2006

OK, so I’m determined right now to write about something that happened yesterday. The only thing that comes to mind immediatly is nothing. Then I thought about this dream I had the other night where I was in this dark tunnel, so dark that light was literally being sucked away. It was “Beyond Dark” and it was a terrifying place but I knew I didn’t have to be scared. Then there was this room with books all over and a glowing green circular thing and a box. But that seemed to existential for me to discuss in this blog. So instead I thought I’d talk about the rain.

Yesterday the rain was kind of hanging in the air. It wasn’t like it was coming down, it was just kind of there and when you walked through it you got wet.

Constitution Day

September 18th, 2006

I did nothing to celebrate the Constitution on Constitution Day. I must be a bad American.


September 12th, 2006

When war was first fought:

The weapons were rocks in the pockets

When wars are fought now:

The weapons are pox in the rockets.


« Older Entries


September 10th, 2006

Canem and I were walking down the hall at Church. There were double doors in front of us and a sign on each. One said “To Room A and Room B”. The other said “To Room C and Room D”. We wanted to go to Room A. I went through that door. Canem went through the other door. However, we both ended up in the same hallway to Room A.

It’s not that strange I guess. It was a double door.


September 9th, 2006

I thought it was chicken, turned out to be fish. Not good. Not good at all.

An Ant

September 5th, 2006

The other day I saw this ant walking on my driveway. He was a lone ant just looking for food or its way home or something.

I took this photo of him (or her) and then it went on its way.

I don’t know what became of the ant. It’s probably dead now. And regardless chances are I will never see that ant again.

June? Since June?

August 23rd, 2006

I haven’t blogged since June. I attribute that to me not writing in the blog. I mowed the lawn yesterday. The lawn looks like crap. It’s got about 10 different types of grass growing in it. Someday if I had a bunch o’ money I’d redo the whole thing but then I’d rather get my car air conditioning fixed or a new car or something else.

Cool acceptance Speech

June 23rd, 2006

I saw the best acceptance speech for an award on the MTV Movie Awards. Christian Bale got up after winning “Best Action Hero” for Batman. He basically said something like this…

 ”I want to thank DC and Warner Brothers for backing this film. I want to thank Bob Kane for creating the coolest superhero in comics (and then he apologized to Brandon Routh who presented the award and of course plays Superman in Superman Returns). I also want to thank Mike Nolan for taking the nipples off the batsuit and restoring dignity to the Dark Knight.”

The last reference was to Batman IV.

I thought it was awesome.

Roller Coaster

June 20th, 2006

I went on a roller coaster with Canem last Saturday. It was a wooden roller coaster, perhaps the longest in the world, and it made me teeth hurt. I do not plan to go on any more wooden roller coasters for some time.

We have made it a tradition that on the first ride or two we go on at any amusement park, Canso will end up crying. At Disney World the first time we went, the first ride we went on was Snow White’s Adventure and she was terrified. The next time we went to Disney we started off with Stitch’s Great Escape and she was equally if not more terrified. So at the latest amusement park visit, the second ride we went on a was called Mad Mouse and as soon as it started she was crying. Honestly, I was scared too. It felt like the ride was going to fly off the tracks and crash into the parking lot. It was very unfun.


June 20th, 2006

Lately I’ve been having all kinds of things happening that are associated with birds.

On the weekend we were driving to an amusement park, I’m the passenger, and this bird is lazily flying directly into the path of the car. You see this all the time and usually the bird veers off at the last second. Well, not this bird. He just keeps on going and gets smashed by the windshield. Dead bird.

A couple days later I get woken up by a chirping bird that sounds like its in the room. That’s not that interesting, but its part of the bigger scheme.

That morning as I’m walking between office buildings there is this guy sitting on a bench with a big smile on his face. As I walk by him, he says something and I said “excuse me” and he says, “Aren’t birds neat?” (He was a bit off I have to say.)

So that afternoon, a friend of mine calls me because he needs a ride home from the car dealership where he’s getting his car fixed. So then I call him back and get his voice mail. A few minutes later he calls me back and I can hear the wind blowing. So I ask him where he is, and he’s out in some field chasing birds.

What’s in the bag?

June 19th, 2006

So a year or so ago, it was the first day of school and Canem needed a lunch. So I get the lunch bag down from the closet and open it up and inside is her lunch from the last day of school the previous year. Needless to say the sandwich, which was sealed in a ziploc, was a gray dusty color. So then last night she needed a lunch for camp. So I get the bag down and open it up and this cloud of noxious fumes come out. Inside is an approximately 6 month old lunch but the ziploc bag for this sandwich wasn’t closed. Whatever was in the bag was brown and liquidy and it smelled like death. So if you are going to leave your sandwich in your lunchbag for several months, make sure the ziploc bag is closed.

Three things that pissed me off this morning

May 17th, 2006

Thing number 1 – On my way to work there is a construction area where everyone has to get down to one lane. They’ve been working on this for months now so everyone has gotten pretty used to getting over. Well, I’ll tell you, nothing burns me more than when everyone gets over into one lane and some jerk comes driving up the other lane passing everybody and then pushing their way into the line at the front. It slows everyone else down. So this morning, everyone gets over like good motorists and sure enough some car comes speeding down the open left lane and then puts the blinkers on so he can get over into the one lane. Except this car was a police car. Cops aren’t supposed to do crap like that. I was pissed.

Thing number 2  – When I was walking into work I saw this woman wearing an outfit that was so horrendous that even I noticed it and it pissed me off. It was like a professionalized hooker outfit but she wasn’t a hooker. She went into one of the office buildings I walk by on the way to my building and had a building ID badge. What the heck is that all about?

Thing number 3 – I had to iron my pants this morning before leaving to work (pissed me off but ironing always does so that doesn’t make my list). When I got to work I realized I had ironed two creases in my left pant leg so I look like a tool.

Lawn Mowing

May 16th, 2006

I got to experience the best of Michigan weather yesterday. In the time it took me to mow the lawn it went from sunny and cool, cloudy and windy, heavy rain and then hot sun. It was so crazy. Woo hoo!

Observations of things I ate today

April 21st, 2006

I like dark chocolate but the piece I just ate wasn’t very good. I was eating some leftover ham for lunch today and then I realized it was really old. I thought about it for a few minutes and then I finished eating it. We’ll see what happens. I had a bowl of Cheerio’s this morning and it was about the same as it ever was. I don’t think you can really get sick of Cheerio’s but you never crave them either. At least I don’t. They are just there but I guess that’s the appeal. I had some coffee with that bottled coffeemate stuff and some with just milk and sugar. The stuff with the coffeemate was much, much better. Tonight is pizza night. I am very close to being sick of pizza. Too many pizza nights. I have a bag of animal crackers on my desk I have not eaten for like two weeks. At this moment, I want another piece of dark chocolate.

Worst day of the week

April 20th, 2006

So I got into this conversation with a guy here at work about what was the worst day of the week. He said Tuesday. His theory: You know Monday is Monday, but when you get through that it’s Tuesday and you still have the rest of the week to go and it isn’t even hump day (Wednesday). I think it’s Thursday. My theory: Monday is Monday and Tuesday you are still plowing through stuff and then you have hump day and suddenly your week is almost over. However, you still have this stupid day between Wednesday and Friday to get through.

Superman’s S-Shield

April 18th, 2006

Did you know that the Superman S-Shield is one of the most recognized symbols in the world. Everyone knows the S-Shield. In fact, I recall reading somewhere that it was in the top 5 recognized symbols in the world. Right up there with the cross, the Star of David and the Nike swoosh. Anyway, Prior to 1985 there were two Supermen. There was an Earth-1 Superman and an Earth-2 Superman. It’s too complicated to explain but Earth-2 Superman (or the Golden Age) Superman was the original Superman from the 1930s. The other one wasn’t. Each one had its own S-shield symbol. Isn’t that worth knowing?

For your reference…

Earth 1 Superman's S-Shield 
Earth-1 Superman’s S-Shield  

Earth-2 Superman’s S-Shield


April 17th, 2006

So yesterday Canem is looking at the list of prizes she can win for this walking thing they have at her school. If she walks 30 miles she can get a podometer. I told her that I used to have one and she asked, very excited, “You do? Where is it?” Here’s the thing. I had that podometer 25 years ago and I know exactly where it is, but only if it were 25 years ago. See, it’s in the little drawer in the hallway outside the bathroom. There is a white vase on the table. Also in that drawer are some baseball cards and a few other assorted random items including a piece of melded wrought iron that a neighbor gave me. But that table no longer stands where it did, in fact, that hallway where it sat probably doesn’t exist anymore either. But I know exactly where it is, if it were 25 years ago.

Now that is certainly something to think about.

Another Crazy Guy

April 13th, 2006

Some guy at the bookstore talked to me for like 10 minutes and everything he said was darn close to being completely incomprehensible. It was excrutiating. I nodded a lot and said “Uh, huh” a few times. Finally I just started to walk away and he says “Oh, well, I was just leaving too.” And follows me. Then some girl said “Hi” to him and he ditched me for her. I was glad to see him go, but I also felt like I’d been kicked to the curb. It was a strange feeling.

Chocolate Chip Pop-Tarts

March 9th, 2006

I wouldn’t recommend them to anyone.

3D Movies can be broken?

March 8th, 2006

We went to a 3-D movie “Deep Sea” last weekend. So as the movie starts the 3-D is all weird. There’s two images. (Yes, I had the glass on) but it just wasn’t right. However, I didn’t say anything because I thought maybe we just were sitting in a bad row or perhaps it was just me. However, then Canso says “Dad, why is there two of everything.” So then we quickly realized that it was bad for everyone and some lady down the way walked through the aisle saying she was going to complain. Then someone figured out that if you put the glasses on upside down (seriously!) then the 3D worked but it was kind of awkward. Anyway, after the lady came back they stopped the movie and said it was broken and we’d get free passes and our money back. So we came back an hour later and everything was fine. But who knew that 3D could be broken.

Raccoon Dog

March 1st, 2006

OK, I’ve seen a lot of disturbing pictures, but Canso brought this book home from school and in the Canine section there was a picture of something called Nyctereutes Procyonoides. An animal otherwise known as the Raccoon Dog. There is something wrong with this, seriously wrong. A dog that looks like a racoon. You may think this is photo shopped or something but the thing is, it’s not. It’s real and it is disturbing. I don’t have the picture from the book because it is a lot weirder than this one. This was the best I could find.
Freakish Animal
The Freakish Raccoon Dog

I don’t think this should be. It’s not right.

Washington Monument

February 27th, 2006

I always thought the Washington Monument was kind of lame. The Lincoln Memorial is awesome. It’s got a buzz. The Jefferson Memorial is OK. I went there some 10 plus years ago and there were letters missing under the statue so it said T omas  efferso which was kind of pathetic. Anyway, I digress. I always thought the Washington Monument was kind of lame. It’s just a big obelisky thing. Nothing about it says “George Washington.” So today I found out that originally it was going to be a lot taller and have a big parthenon thing around the base and on the top there was going to be a huge statue of George Washington dressed in a toga driving a team of horses on a chariot. As over the top as that sounds, I still think it would be better than what we have now. The reason they didn’t build it like that was because it was built on wetlands and seriously it took forever to build it and I think after awhile they just wanted to be done with it.


February 26th, 2006

Today I found out that some cell phones are imported from Finland.

The difference between a good and bad day

February 25th, 2006

In order to get where I park my car, I have to go on this boardwalk and up these stairs that is alongside a river. The stairs actually extend over the water. A few weeks ago I was going down the stairs to the parking lot and there was this woman in front of me and she reached into her pocket to retrieve something and her keys fell out. They landed on the steps. An inch further forward and they would have fallen into the river. That inch was the difference between a disaster of a day (keys at the bottom of the river) versus an amusing story that’ll come up whenever she’s talking to people about “near misses.”

Strange lady

February 24th, 2006

So today I’m walking back to my car and I’m reading which I tend to do and suddenly I here this “Hey” and I look up and there is this strange almost crazy lady coming at me. Scraggy hair, wild eyes, dirty, no bottom teeth. She starts talking to me and waving some paper in my face and telling me she just got out of prison and she doesn’t know where some street is and she only has a dollar. I just keep walking and she’s like sliding up close to me. She’s smoking an unfiltered cigarette and talking a mile a minute. So, I’m getting a bit weirded out. This is like the fifth time I’ve gotten “approached” like this while walking to my car. Anyway, I tried to kind of “pick her off” by walking really close to a column but that didn’t work at all. She kept going on and on and followed me for like a block and starts talking about money. Then I heard her mention a street name. I said “That street is over there” and she says “Where?” and looks away. I pointed in the direction that the street was again, “Over there” I said and she looks real hard and I ran. I just ran away. 

I kind of feel bad about it but she was really freaky.


February 20th, 2006

You know, people say things like “That’s a whole lot of nothing.” So I am left to ask, can you have more nothing? I think of all things “nothing” is immeasurable. You can’t have quantities of nothing. A lot of nothing, a little nothing, it’s all the same. Seriously. It is.

Brady Bunch

February 18th, 2006

So I’m flipping through the channels the other night and somehow ended up on Biography and they were doing The Brady Bunch. Aside from the fact some dude said the show’s theme song was as American as the Star Spangled Banner (really) it was almost interesting. So they did this whole thing about how four sets of kids were chosen. Three dark haired boys, three blond boys, three dark haired girls, three blond girls. The sets that got picked would depend on who was cast as the parents. Since Mr. Brady had dark, they chose the dark haired boys. Same with the girls but in reverse. So then they showed a picture of the other kids and it was like “How weird. Those kids could have been the Brady kids.” Then I thought, if they’d picked a blond guy and a dark haired woman they’d of showed the picture of the kids that actually ended up being the Brady kids and I would have said the same thing. Strange how that works out.

An Ambiance

February 17th, 2006

So the other day I’m talking to Noocr about how on my way in the building this morning on my way to work there were sirens and stuff. The conversation went like this…

Me: “This morning, on my way into the building, there was all kinds of activity in front of the capitol. There were sirens and everything.” (Guess I covered that, oh well.)
Noocr: “Hmmm…” (He really wasn’t that interested.)
Me: “Yeah, there were fire trucks and then they sent in an ambiance.” (Note, that is what I said, not an ambulance, an ambiance)
Noocr: An ambiance?

This led to an entire conversation about sending in an ambiance whenever something goes wrong. In a way, that works. Since an ambiance is a special atmosphere or mood created by a particular environment ( whenever there is trouble, send in an ambiance. It seemed quite funny to me.

I think we need to find other stuff to talk about.

Word scramble

December 14th, 2005

So tonight Canem is playing some computer game and she comes downstairs with a piece of paper with the following letters written on it “O W B L E.” It’s a word scramble and she’s stumped. So she asks Canca what word those letters could make. The only clue she has is that it’s a body part. Canca looks at the paper for a moment and says, “Well, I think the word is ‘bowel’.” Canem looks confused and Canca explains tactfully what the bowel is for and so Canem runs upstairs to try the word in her computer game. A few minutes later she calls down, “Mom, how do you spell ‘elbow’?”

Never realized elbow and bowel use the same letters.

Haunted Christmas Bear – Part 2

December 12th, 2005

Continuing from an earlier post:

Haunted Christmas Bear wouldn’t shut up today. He was very haunted today. He even went off when I wasn’t in my office. When I came up to my office some of the people I work with were staring into my office door as he played his little song. They were wondering what the deal was with Haunted Christmas Bear. I explained to them that this wasn’t just a Christmas Bear, it was Haunted Christmas Bear and that he plays the music all on his own. They laughed but it was a patronizing laugh. They think I’m crazy. I’m not… it’s just Haunted Christmas Bear.


December 8th, 2005

Today I drove all over the place looking for a camcorder. Those suckers are expensive. When I went into one of the local electrnics store the guy there tried to sell me on a camera. I was hesitant and he told me to go look elsewhere and then come back. I then remembered this was the same guy that helped me buy a computer a few months ago. He did the exact same thing, sold me on a computer, I was hesitant, he told me to look in other stores and then come back. However, I found it for a better price elsewhere and never came back.

That guy needs a new shtick.

Leaping Lords

December 6th, 2005

Sometimes I get these strange urges… Yesterday I went to this conference and I was on the second floor. There is this big opening on the second floor sticking up through the opening from the first floor is a gigantic Christmas Tree. As I walked by, I had the urge to leap from the railing around the Christmas tree and grab onto the top of the tree just to see what would happen. I would have been one of those leaping lords from the song. However, I’m not a lord and I didn’t leap so I was neither. Anyway, I’m sure nothing good would have come of it.

Haunted Christmas Bear

December 5th, 2005

I have a haunted Christmas bear. Haunted Christmas Bear is quiet all year and then come late November he spontaneously goes off and plays a tinny version of “We Wish You a Merry Christmas.” Normally to get Haunted Christmas Bear to play his song you have to squeeze his paw. But somehow, even when he’s put away in the drawer, Haunted Christmas Bear knows that its time to start playing his Christmas songs.

Haunted Christmas Bear frightens me.


December 2nd, 2005

So I went in my office the other day and there was my “Ped.” Not sure why they call them “Peds” but its basically a set of drawers that I can lock. It has wheels. It’s fun. Anyway, I came into my office and the drawer is locked and if you can believe this I tried to unlock it by pushing the button on my car keychain. That’s a sure fire sign that I’ve lost it.

Noocr tells me that car keychain thing is called a “fob” which to me is stranger than “Ped”.

Crash Bash – Part 1

November 29th, 2005

So last night Canem and I resumed our “Adventure” game of Crash Bash which is one of the Crash Bandicoot games. We hadn’t played it in like a year because we got stuck. So we play this tournament game of “Ballistix” which is pong-like and I’m thinking, “Hey, Canem is a lot better at these games now so maybe we will win.” Sure enough right out the shoot we crushed them. We are high fiving and laughing it up thinking we conquered the level when round two starts up. “Round 2?” Turns out you have to beat them three times to win the level. Anyway, we got smoked three games straight. Don’t you hate it when it turns out to be first one to three.

Captain Shazam

November 28th, 2005

There is nothing more confusing in the super hero world than Captain Marvel. Is his name Captain Marvel or is it Shazam? Discuss.

Lights on the house

November 26th, 2005

So the other day I put up the “Holiday” lights. I went way up the ladder to put them at the top of the garage. I’m up there, things are cool, and suddenly I can’t do it. I couldn’t go any higher on the ladder. My heart was racing and all that fun stuff. So I kind of looped it at the top instead of having it go to the point. So now I wonder if people look at the house and think, “Oh, how creative” or if they think “Oh, what a chicken sh*t.”

First snow

November 23rd, 2005

Uh oh. First snow. Everyone forget how to drive.

Surprise Rain

November 21st, 2005

A lot of people in the neighborhood have their Christmas lights up already. When I say a lot its relative of course because I mean a lot for this time of year being prior to Thanksgiving. Whatever. Anyway, yesterday I was going to put up the lights as soon as I got home but when I stepped outside of the office, it was raining. It wasn’t supposed to rain and I didn’t know it was raining prior to that moment. I hate that. Surprise rain.

Instead of putting the lights up I took Canem to the doctor which was an overall good time had by all.


November 20th, 2005

My default answer to any question is 12. A few days ago I discussed this with someone who it turns out has a default answer as well which is 24. While her number is twice as much as mine, mine is closer to 1. See how that works?

Horris Barnswallow, esq says:

November 23, 2005 at 2:18 pm  (Edit)

Very interesting! It is heartending to see others with a default answer. While yours is numeric, mine is pure alpha – tissue.

We are sheep

November 19th, 2005

Yesterday I learned that we are all sheep. We went to see Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire and about a minute into the movie, not even a minute, like 5 seconds, the fire alarm goes off in the theatre. It was this big flashing light and annoying buzzing sound. So of course we should leave the theatre right? Do we? No. We all just sit there and watch the movie, some of us yelling for them to turn off that stupid alarm. Sure, the building may be turning into a raging inferno but it’s opening night of Harry Potter and we aren’t leaving. So we all sit there when one of the theatre workers runs in and yells “We need everyone to exit the theatre NOW!!!” So then we get up and leave. Canca loses her purse in the darkness, the kids are upset, all I can think about is saving our drinks (lame). Seriously, its all about the chaos. The movie is still playing so everyone takes their time getting out because they want to see as much of the movie as possible. When we finally get outside, people in the next theatre are already going back in. So we go back in and, this really ticks me off, people don’t go back to the seats they had before the alarm. They go for the prime seats in the middle of the theatre. That’s a bunch of crap. Then, to make it even more exciting, we sit through 5-10 minutes of commercials and then they turn the movie back and they never turned it off! So we missed like the first 20 minutes of the movie. So we are all sheep and we missed the first part of the movie. The silver lining… they gave us passes. But I still can’t believe how long we just sat there assuming the fire alarm was anything more than an annoyance.

By the way, the whole thing was caused by popcorn that caught fire.

Sock Drawer

October 30th, 2005

So, today I’m literally cleaning out my sock drawer and suddenly I got incredibly sick to my stomach. I mean really sick. Gurgling noises and everything. It was the pits. Makes me wonder about my previous post.


October 29th, 2005

So, as those of you who know, for some time now I’ve had something against KFC. It wasn’t just some random dislike, it was earned by the Colonel for giving me some tainted chicken strips. I remember the post-strip fallout very well. Horrible. So this weekend I finally decided to let bygones be bygones and had Canca go out and get some finger licking good chicken. It was actually pretty good and no real fallout… yet.

Obnoxious tall bald man at grocery store

October 6th, 2005

So I go to the local grocer and the line is going down the beer aisle. And this is the express lane! But we patiently stand there. A second cashier opens up at the service desk and starts calling people over from the express line one at a time. At this point this tall bald obnoxious guy shows up and seriously starts yelling at the grocery store people to open more lanes. Then he sees that there is one person in the service desk line. Now remember, there is one line for both cashiers. People have been just going one at a time to whichever one is open. When the obnoxious tall bald man sees there is just one person in line by the service desk he pushes through everyone and then stands there making open-mouthed faces at us. Several people try to explain to him that he just cut everyone because we’ve been going to both cashiers but he’s so excited at “outsmarting” all of us that he can’t get it through his head that he just cut everyone and that he looks like a fool. I wanted to toss the package of brats I had just bought at him but then I wouldn’t of had anything for dinner. The woman next to me wanted to do much worse. The sad thing is, this guy left the store still thinking he was so darn smart and the rest of us were so darn stupid to be standing in line. I don’t like the obnoxious tall bald man and hope to never see him again.

Carlas Gutwagger, Mrs. says:

November 23, 2005 at 5:31 pm  (Edit)

I live next to that tall, bald man and let me tell you a secret about him . . . a secret he is ashamed of: explosive incontinence.

Bridge on the Captain

October 5th, 2005

Every now and then I like to tick myself off by watching the end of Star Trek: Generations. This movie had so much potential and Paramount blew it with that ridiculous story and stupid ending. You just don’t kill Kirk. Yesterday was one of those days. I watched it and got mad all over again. I get over it quickly, but it still gets me.


October 3rd, 2005

I really thought I’d have more to post in here but I don’t really seem to have much to say. The other day I was at a tailgate and I found a piece of ice which I gave to a friend of mine. He threw it at another guy who happened to be walking by and the piece of ice got stuck in the guy’s glasses. What are the odds?

Cloudy Pool Solution

August 22nd, 2005

If you have a cloudy pool(green or not)5,000 gallons or less here are the easy to follow steps for restoring your pool to crystal clear goodness.

Step 1. Make sure you have a brand new filter cartridge.

Step 2. Purchase some Floc and Clear. Yup, that’s what it’s called. Say it out loud. Call the store and say “Do you have any Floc and Clear.” More effective if you slur the last three words.

Step 3. Purchase some Algaecide.

Step 4. Purchase some Shock (Super chlorine!)

Step 4. Run your filter for eight hours straight. Add Floc and Clear, Algaecide and Shock! Occassionally stop the filter and clean the cartridge with a hose.

Step 5. Repeat above steps three times.

Step 6. Come home to find your wife has dumped the pool and refilled it.

Just like that the water is crystal clear.

This really works.


August 8th, 2005

The other day which wasn’t all that long ago I asked one of my kids if they’d seen any bandits. It was probably the fifth or sixth time I’d asked her that question. She responded with this…

“No, I didn’t see any bandits. And I don’t think they exist.”

Bandits do exist.

Sliver or splinter

August 4th, 2005

What’s the difference between a sliver and a splinter? I don’t know. Maybe one is under the skin, or perhaps one is bigger than the other.

“Ouch, I got a splinter.”
“That’s no splinter, that’s a sliver.”

Sliver sounds smaller than splinter.

Ted Williams was the Spendid Splinter. That’s not a bad nickname. Heck of a lot better than the Splendid Sliver which makes no sense. Not that Splendid Splinter makes sense. I guess it was something to do with being skinny and a good (splendid) hitter.

Anyway, I am curious what the difference is. I looked them up in the dictionary and found no difference so perhaps there isn’t any.

What’s not right

July 19th, 2005

Things that are wrong. Discuss…

AA Man says:

July 23, 2005 at 5:36 pm  (Edit)

Scottie dying is wrong


July 12th, 2005

Yesterday I noticed a sign outside of a bank near our house. I thought it was a new sign and said so. Turns out the sign has been there for two years. That happens to me a lot.

I also went to buy gas yesterday and the pump wouldn’t let me pick the gas type I wanted. It kept selecting diesel. That doesn’t happen to me a lot.

So sometimes things happen a lot, and sometimes they don’t.

Hurricane Dennis

July 11th, 2005

There is something voyeuristic about Hurricane coverage. The people that are experiencing the hurricane frequently don’t have power so they can’t watch TV. So all the coverage is for the benefit of people that are not experiencing the storm. It’s kind of like the blackout. We were in the blackout. We didn’t see any of the coverage.

Simon Says

July 1st, 2005

OK, so yesterday the kids and I are playing Simon Says in the mini-pool. Canem goes first, then I went and then Canso. Canso is going through the routine… “Simon says touch the bottom of the pool”, “Simon says touch your head”, “Simon says jump up and down” then, out of the blue, she says “Simon says bite Dad on the leg.” So then the two of them start coming after me. Some time later she finally gives in and it switches to Canem’s turn. So she runs through a few Simon says routines and then she says “Simon says, be like a statue” So I be like a statue. Then she says “Simon says, bite Dad on the leg.” So I start swimming away and she tells me I have to be like a statue. Forget that routine. So for the next like 10-15 minutes the two of them are coming after me trying to bite me on the leg. I felt like I was in a pool with two mini-zombies.

It was hard work staying away. At one point I suggested that they come up with a plan so they huddle and then Canso comes over to me and says “Dad, I want to have some close your eyes time with you.” I sent them back to think of a better plan.

Eventually they got me.

Swimming in the rain

June 30th, 2005

Yesterday I went swimming with the kids in the mini-pool in the backyard. Then it started to rain. There wasn’t any lightning or thunder so we were perfectly safe. What I find interesting is that even when you are outside swimming and it starts to rain your instinct is to go inside because you don’t want to get wet.

Although we discussed it, we didn’t go inside.

NBA Draft

June 29th, 2005

Stayed up until midnight last night to watch a bunch of basketball players I hadn’t heard of get drafted into the NBA. I’m tuckered and I don’t feel any better about things for having done it.


June 28th, 2005

We have a cat named Princess. Turns out that the Egyptian word for Princess is Urbi. At least that’s what the webpage said. Anyway, since then, I have referred to this cat as Urbi. Urbi runs away from me when I walk into the room. I think it has something to do with a ghost dog.


June 20th, 2005

The other day, which wasn’t that long ago, Canca I went to our semi-local grocer and as we was walking down one of the aisles I saw that a whole bunch of cereal was on sale. It was two bucks a box. BONUS! So we grabbed all the standards, Lucky Charms etc. Then I saw a box of Alpha-Bits. I had a nostalgic blast and grabbed two boxes. Well, when I poured myself a bowl the next morning I was stunned. It looked like alphabet shaped Cheerios. True, Cheerios also look like a letter in the alphabet (O) but this was all the letters. So I finally looked at the box and right there it says in the top corner “Like Cheerios” So who would have thought that Alpha-Bits would have a fat-free option. So if you go to the store with the idea of buying Alpha-Bits you have to take time to read the box now.


June 16th, 2005

So today I was thinking about the old Batman TV show. I was probably thinking about this because I just went and saw the Batman Begins movie which was excellent top-notch stuff. All the superhero movies are going to have to kick it up a notch to match that one.

Anyway, I was thinking about the old Batman TV show and it came up in a discussion with my Dad and then later with Noocr. He mentioned how it was funny that all the henchmen had to where outfits that resembled the villian they worked for. Then I thought, you know those henchmen… they never had names. They were like numbers or some deriviation of the villian’s name. Penguin had some henchmen names Sparrow, Hawkeye and Mr. Jay and Mr. Freeze had someone named Shivers. I’m sure those weren’t there real given names. You wonder how they felt.

Penguin: “Listen Hawkeye, Mr. Jay, I need you to wait down by the dock and let me know when our pointy-headed friend arrives. Sparrow you stay with me.
Sparrow: “But my name isn’t Sparrow.”
Penguin: “What?”
Sparrow: “I’m not just some bird, I’m a real person. My name is Kenny.”

Canje Clnor

June 13th, 2005

So Canje Clnor who is featured on this site with her deep thoughts now has her own webpage. It’s at It is marvy.

Big Giant Thunderstorm

June 6th, 2005

So last night we had this crazy thunderstorm and one of the cats was running around like crazy. It’s kind of sad but funny to watch a cat running with no place to go. It’s very hard to run from thunder. You can try, but it just never really seems to work. I have never tried to run from thunder and I credit evolution.

I bet ol’ Noocr was up enjoying the thunderstorm in all his glory. Noocr enjoys thunderstorms. If you don’t know who Noocr is, that’s OK.

My first thought

May 5th, 2005

Yesterday I was mowing the lawn and there was this weed. I felt like I’d seen the weed before, but I wasn’t sure. So I got a good hold of it and yanked it out of the ground. It’s root looked like a white carrot.

I think that weed had been there for a long time.

  Jonsh says:

November 15, 2005 at 10:02 am  (Edit)

Hi. My name is Jonsh & I have white carrot weeds all over the place, too. Just wanted you to know you’re not alone. If you ever need to talk, just e me…well, that would be writing but hopefully you could get the same cathartic reaction.

  maia says:

July 23, 2005 at 5:36 pm  (Edit)

Your website is funny! I like the cat pictures.