Brokeback Mountain
Alright, the thing with this movie is that it was good. The topic was a taboo thing and all that which I'm going to stay away from. I totally don't want to offend anyone either. The thing is, this movie was billed as "A Love story that happened to be between two men." And that it was. A love story with two men instead of the typical man/woman thing. The problem is, if this had been "Just a Love story" with a man and a woman, it would not have been all that exceptional. It just would have been another love movie that no one really would have paid attention too. That should actually be considered a success of the movie, but one that actually lessens its ranking as a movie as opposed to it being a statement.

Serious movie begets serious review.

Synopsis:
A typical, unexceptional, love story that happens to be between two cowboys.

King Kong
More to come. Big Ape!

Synopsis:
It's King Kong. Kong is King. King is Kong. Kong. Kong. King Kong.

The 40-year-old Virgin
It took awhile but I finally saw the much hyped "funniest movie of the year" and it was funny, but I didn't think it was the funniest.

Synopsis:
Title explains it

It's King Kong. Kong is King. King is Kong. Kong. Kong. King Kong.

The Family Stone
This movie wasn't anything like I thought it was going to be. For instance, I thought it was going to be funny. It wasn't funny. It was weird and sad. It was a weird tragi-comedy. This was one of those celebrations of dysfunction. The problem is, too many times it seemed to hit to close to home. So instead of being entertained you just felt stressed. Plus there is all this strangeness of whose with who. Is Carrie with the guy she showed up with or his brother. Why doesn't anyone seem to see what's wrong with that? And then Carrie's sister shows up and her semi-ex but not ex at the time is throwing himself at her. Of course everyone ends up with the opposite type person. How does this happen? Oh, the humanity. Then at the end they try to pull us all into feeling sad for the dearly departed (who I won't reveal for the sake of not spoiling it) but for the entire movie this person has been entirely unsympathetic, yet you are supposed to feel for her. Ridiculous. Absurd and ridiculous. To me, this movie was a mess.

Synopsis:
A dysfunctional family gets together for Christmas and we all get to share in the stress.

Walk the Line
More to come. Pretty darn good movie though

Synopsis:
Johnny Cash.

Syriana
More to come. A bit confusing I guess.

Synopsis:
What's up in the Middle East

Chicken Little
More to come, not good

Synopsis:
Basically what happens after the whole "sky is falling" incident.

Just Like Heaven
This wasn't too bad. It was one of those movies that you are glad you went to a matinee because if you'd paid full price and had a babysitter for the kids you'd be mad you spent the money. Reeth Witherspoon has an enormous head. They could have done a lot more with it but I don't think that was the intent. The little twist is nice because it allows things to end differently than Ghost but then it didn't make much sense. Oh, and in an amazing show of editing... when the two of them are trying to figure out who she is and are going to the address they found (but got screwed up) they show how close they came to finding Reeth's best friend at her home. Then, like two scenes later, they just happen upon the best friend at the hospital. I'm thinking something got cut. If you've seen the movie, this make sense. If not. Then it doesn't.

Synopsis:
Dude sublets an apartment where the former tenant who was killed or something is still living there too as some kind of apparition.

War of the Worlds
 

Synopsis:
Dude sublets an apartment where the former tenant who was killed or something is still living there too as some kind of apparition.

Adventures in Babysitting (DVD)
I know, I know. What the heck is this? Well, Canca dug this movie and decided to go by it and for whatever reason I had never seen this movie. I don't really feel any better for having seen it but it wasn't bad and it did bring me back to the 80s. What is funny about this movie, and I've wanted to write about this since seeing Back to the Future in August (Don't worry I'd seen that movie before.) But I believe this was when they started allowing people to swear in movies because it was just such a bunch of gratuitious swearing. It wasn't necessary, they just wanted toe chance to say the F-word, and the Lord's name in vain for the pure shock value of it all. It was kind of funny because the swearing doesn't sound natural. It's like "Ooh, wow, I said Sh*t. Did you hear me?" I did like the Thor stuff. Kind of came out of nowhere. I mean seriously, Thor? But I got a kick out of it.

Synopsis:
In an incredible stretch some girl runs away and Elisabeth Shue for whatever reason decides to take three kids into the city to do this. Well, the car breaks down and it just gets worse from there.

Fantastic Four
Why? Why do you make a movie that is so far off from its source material? The story wasn't good enough? I don't know what the problem with the real story. It's like if they decided to make Superman from Crapton or have Batman's parents not get killed instead he gets bit by a radioactive bat to become Batman. It just doesn't make sense why they can't just make a movie based on the real original story. OK, getting past all that... The movie itself just kind of sucked anyway. The guy who played the Thing was good and the Human Torch guy wasn't bad. The other three were lousy. Everyone was talking about Jessica Alba and she didn't even look good in the movie. Dr. Doom is supposed to be cool Darth Vader ripoff not some ranting shmoe. Nothing made any sense. I hated this movie. When I started writing this I was going to give it a Ford but now that I've written this I'm prepared to give it a Taft.

Synopsis:
It's a bunch of wanna be's pretending to be the Fantastic Four. It isn't close.

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
OK, so Johnny Depp wasn't basing his portrayal of Willie Wonka on Michael Jackson. That's fine but that's about all I could think of during this remake of a classic that shouldn't have been made. Let's see, let's try something new... let's list what I didn't like:

Synopsis:
It's Charlie and the Chocolate factory. You know what it's about except its been Burtonized which means it's weird. And Johnny Depp channels Michael Jackson and he's weird. It's a flat walkthrough of the book with no depth of character at all.

Batman Begins
All the other superhero movies are so screwed. This was how its supposed to be done. Nothing and I mean nothing in the world of superhero movies compares to this. Spider-Man would be close but the cast isn't nearly as strong as the one in Batman Begins. Christian Bail is the best Batman ever by far. He's got Bruce Wayne down cold. Michael Caine, Liam Neeson, Morgan Freemen, Tom Wilkenson... it's really unbelievable. Even more unbelievable is that I watched the whole movie really impressed with the guy playing Jim Gordon and then after he movie I find out it was Gary Oldham who is perfect. The movie was really good.

One note, which I think was a nice touch, was that they only say the word "Batman" like four times in the whole movie. I also liked that everything he had as Batman was "real" in that it wasn't completely out of the realm that some of this stuff could happen.

I liked that they used the "Who are you?" "I'm Batman" thing from the first movies. Otherwise I'm glad they disregarded those other movies. You know, after this movie, I kind of feel like those movies were remakes of the old 60s Batman TV show while this was a version based on having Batman today and based on the comic as it is now.

Synopsis:
The origin of Batman. Good stuff. "I'm Batman"

Cinderella Man
I liked this movie well enough but it was typical Ron Howard stuff in that it looks sharp as all get out. Well filmed, great visuals but as usual it kind of glosses over and Hollywoodizes everything. I like the biopics. You learn about people you don't know much about. And I didn't know much of anything about James Braddock but why they have to mess around with the actual story I don't know. The main thing being the depiction of Max Baer. It's nice for the movie to make him into this monster but that wasn't really what he was all about. At least not from what I've read. The problem is that when you see an inaccuracy like that it brings into question everything else in the movie and that wrecks it.

OK, enough soap box. The movie itself is a bit slow. They had to stretch things out a bit more than was probably needed. Paul Giamatti is excellent as Braddock's manager. The real strength of the movie though is that more so than any other movie the boxing felt real. In some ways you felt like you were in the ring with these guys. I cringed a number of times from the blows. It was really well done from that point of view. Overall the movie was kind of like a plodding boxer.

Synopsis:
The life story of Jim Braddock. Actually... not his life story. Just like a two or three year snippet. They described the movie as Seabiscuit with a boxer. For some reason that just doesn't work for me at all.

Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith
Now if I had reviewed this the moment I walked out of the theatre it would have gotten a bad review. See, Star Wars is a big part of my life and this was the movie we've been waiting for since forever or something and when it was done I actually felt kind of P.O.ed. The movie has so many many missed opportunities to make the continuity between the original trilogy and the prequels and to explain things that as a Star Wars minutia (ohh big word, big word) type person I was bothered. Plus, Vader's minute (two sentences, two words that begin with minu-) amount of screen time was more a tease than anything else. However, by the time I got home I started to really appreciate how good it was. Sure there were flaws (the pacing was terrible, way to fast) but overall it was really something. It's funny because I saw the movie with Noocr Vehar and he had the same feelings. At first he wasn't thrilled but by the next day he was liking it which was the opposite of the other two prequels. I thought Attack of the Clones was awesome when the movie was over but now... not so much. The ending of this movie is powerful.

I know one thing that hurt this movie was that I knew so much about it. Not from spoilers or reading about the movie, but from reading other sources. I already knew how Anakin ended up in the Vader suit so in some ways it felt like watching a movie based on a book I'd read several times. I really wish that Episode II had been the first episode. Maybe the first half be what we saw in Phantom Menace but seriously condensed. I wish this movie was Episode II and that Episode III would have shown Anakin dealing with being Darth Vader and the Jedi purge. I'm such a whiner.

Other thoughts:

I wish there had been more Vader than there was and they hadn't used the cheese "Nooooo!" thing. I liked the ending sword fight and all that crap too. How the Emporer got his Klingon forehead was acceptable, Mace Windu didn't go out like a punk and I was actually moved when they showed all the outcomes of the "Order 66" thing. There are two things that could have been done to make this perfect which I will list in "Inviso-Text" which I came up with years ago in the Elf Jokes thing and is now common place.

Synopsis:
It's Star Wars but this time its the big one! Secrets are revealed although in some cases not so well.

Million Dollar Baby
This movie left such an impression on me I forgot to review it. I can't say I really dug this movie. The first part was really good and then it just takes this crazy turn and then I didn't like it at all. Clint Eastwood was good and he directed it well. A lot of dark lighting scenes for dramatic effect. The biggest problem with it was that boxers below middleweight rarely knock each other out. Usually its a point system with a lot of punches thrown. So the whole one punch knockout routine this movie followed is incredibly unlikely. I guess that wasn't the point though. Morgan Freemen is good as always, glad to see he won the award for this. The people playing the leads family were good in their obnoxiousness. The name of the movie sucked. It doesn't make much sense or I'm stupid.

In some ways the first part of the movie was a replay of Rocky V which is never a good thing. Although if it had been a replay of Rocky IV there may have been trouble.

Synopsis:
The story of a woman who wants to be a boxer and gets trained by Clint Eastwood who plays a grouchy old boxing manager who got kicked to the curb.

Fat Albert (DVD)
I believe in all honesty that this movie is the best adaptation of an old TV series that I have ever seen. The reason is that instead of taking a cartoon TV series and trying to recreate it on the screen (Like the Flintstones) they took the actual cartoon characters themselves and moved them into the real world. That totally worked for me and I thought it was genius. I always dug on Fat Albert when I was a youngling. I used to debate with friends as to whether Dumb Donald was wearing a funky hat or someone had pulled gum over his head. (OK, I knew it wasn't gum, but I wanted it to be. Why? I don't know.) Speaking of Dumb Donald he was the most spot on of all the characters. Rudy was the furthest off because in the show I remember he was kind of a jerk, but in the movie he comes off more as the right-hand guy. They did a lot of little reference things to the show which was cool except they didn't do the walk they used to do and that was too bad.

The thing that I really thought was cool in this movie was the very end at the gravesite of the real Fat Albert who Bill Cosby based the show and much of his comedy routines on back when he was really funny. All the original people that were his friends were there. I thought that was awesome.

Synopsis:
Fat Albert comes out of the TV into the real world along with all his cartoon pals. Stuff happens.

The Village (DVD)
OK, enough of the "big twist" movies already. This was one I really regretted missing in the theatres and after seeing it on DVD I was glad I missed it. This was one of M. Night's twisty movies and sadly I knew what the twist was about five minutes into the movie. I'm not saying I'm super smart or anything but it was painfully obvious to me what was going on, especially when I saw the red hooded creatures in the town. I was like "Oh, c'mon" which is really what I said because I was watching this in my family room all by myself. The only surprise to me was that one scene, the one where the guy gets hurt. I didn't see that coming. Should have though.

Synopsis:
In a village there are townspeople that have made a deal with these creatures that live in the woods. Or have they. What is going on? I can't tell you it might give away the obvious twist. Just watch out for the color red which interestingly enough was the bad color in Sixth Sense as well.

Because of Winn-Dixie
It's a movie about a dog that smiles. But don't be fooled because the dog is a heck of a lot bigger in the movie than I thought he would be. He was a big ol' dog. In some ways it was ironic because the day after we saw this Winn-Dixie the grocery store declared bankruptcy. I thought the movie was pretty good. It was one of those old style Disney feel good movies that actually feels like there is more story in it then there really is. Like somehow they managed to make you feel like there was a lot more back story then their really was. That seems to happen more with books that are made into movies which this was and so it makes sense. A couple of observations: Jeff Daniels is a really good actor who has quietly been in a lot of good movies playing really different roles, at times during the movie the main girl appeared a lot older than she did in other scenes, Dave Matthews seems to be a good actor for a singer but I'm told that the way he was in the movie is how he really is so that would mean that Dave Matthews is disturbed. The dog is bigger than you think.

Quote I liked: "That man is magic. He's a magic man."

Synopsis:
A girl who calls her Dad, Preacher, moves to a new town where she is lonely until she meets this dog. A dog that smiles and is a lot bigger than you think he is. All this stuff happens then because of the dog, because of the dog whose name is Winn-Dixie. So its all because of Winn-Dixie which makes sense.

The Terminal (DVD)
I'll tell you what. I was never more surprised at how crappy a movie was than I was watching this. Geeze. It had Spielberg, Tom Hanks and interesting story concept and it was just not good. Paper thin, complete and total and I mean complete and total implausibility and even the "love" story aspect ends up unfulfilling. In fact, I wish I could have an audio here because one of the worst delivery's of a line I have heard in a serious movie in some time was in this movie. "I told you to stay away from me Viktor, I'm no good" It was so soap opera. I think in some ways this movie reminded me of some of those late 80s movies like Mannequin where its completely unreal but there wasn't any doubt that it wasn't real where this one tries to pass it off as the real thing. This wasn't even a descent rental but if I had seen it in the theatre, I'd be angry.

Synopsis:
A story based on that guy that spent decades stuck in an airport in France because all his papers had been revoked. However, in this movie he's from a made up country, he's stuck in the United States and virtually nothing in the movie actually happened to the guy except that he got stuck in the airport.

Collateral (DVD)
This movie is just a hair above a Grant and that's only because I watched it all the way through. Jamie Fox was good but Tom Cruise was ridiculous in this movie. It was like he just wanted to play a bad guy. Sadly I think Tom Cruise is getting worse and worse as an actor. Maybe its just the movies he does but I never think of him as anything but Tom Cruise. This movie was Tom Cruise playing a bad guy, last time it was Tom Cruise playing a Civil War drunk guy. He's always the same guy basically. Now Jaime Foxx, well, it was hard to believe the little meekish (made up a word Yay!) was also Ray Charles in Ray. The movie itself was a bit farfetched but whatever. Also, at the end, they tried to pull off something profound with the train bit but it didn't work.

Synopsis:
Max is a cab driver striving for something more. Tom Crui... I mean Vincent the Hitman shows up and somehow Max ends up driving Vincent all over LA as he kills people. Much hilarity ensues (not.)

Maria Full of Grace (DVD)
I had no idea what this movie was about going into it. Canca picked it out because she'd heard it was good and the actress in it was going to be nominated for an Oscar or something. Anyway, it was an interesting movie in that it gave you a look at something you hear about but don't know all that much about. It wasn't high entertainment but it wasn't supposed to be. I don't get the title but I haven't told anyone that either. It may be that she never loses her cool, but she actually kind of does at one point.

Synopsis:
Maria gets hired to act as a mule smuggling drugs into the United States by swallowing capsules of cocaine. The movie gives to a look at what can happen to people that try that.

The Aviator
I really liked this movie. Leonardo DiCaprio is excellent as Howard Hughes. He absolutely makes this movie what it was. Now realize this movie is about a notch up the entertainment scale from something you may see on Biography (although there isn't any narration) but I learned a lot about someone I'd heard of but knew nothing about except that he ended up in a hotel room wearing toilet paper boxes on his feet. I had no idea he knew all the Hollywood people and it was interesting seeing them too in that capacity. Almost a behind the scenes look at something we never see. The woman who played Katherine Hepburn was perfect. It is a long movie though. But my attention was held throughout. You'll be kind of surprised when Alan Alda shows up. Once again Alec Baldwin plays a smooth talking scumbag slickster, but that's what he does.

Synopsis:
The story of Howard Hughes... The Aviator.

Ray
This was great. Excellent. Really liked it. Jaime Foxx is incredible in this movie as Ray Charles. Of all the biopic movies I have seen this was the best one. You would think he was Really Ray Charles. It's different too because I didn't know a whole lot about Ray Charles. Especially when he was younger. I just new him when he was older and selling Pepsi. Turns out he was a really big deal. Imagine that. Big enough to have a movie made about him. Of course they took license, but nothing really blatant from what I have read. Anyway, this movie is so good I can't put it into words so I won't. I'll stop writing now.

Synopsis:
The life of Ray Charles.

Finding Neverland
I'd of liked this movie a lot better if we hadn't for some reason thought this was going to be more Peter Pan than J.M. Barry. I guess if we'd been paying attention we'd of known that but you see Neverland in the title and there is no Michael Jackson in sight you sort of make certain assumptions. The entire movie Canso was asking if it was over yet and deciding that she had to pea. It was really a good movie, good story, interesting development and such but I was feeling there pain and kind of distracted. This is less a movie review than just how I felt sitting there in the theatre isn't it? This was one of those movies with some funny, some dramatic stuff in it that really works. However the best thing I learned though was that the ticking crocodile with the clock inside him represents time. It makes sense but I didn't know that at all.

Synopsis:
It's the story of J.M. Barry the playwright who created Peter Pan. It tells the story with much embellishment and changing of real history of how Barry met the family of boys that inspired him to write the play.

The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie
You know, the trailer for this asked repeatedly "Who lives in a pineapple under the sea" but they never really addressed this in the movie. This was one I was actually kind of intrigued to see because I kind of like watching SponeBob. As Canca says and I apparently stole "To the kids of today SpongeBob is our Bugs Bunny." Now I've been forced to watch a lot of SpongeBob and I can't say totally forced per se because I watch it willingly but I have noticed that much of SpongeBob is filled with repetition. Kind of like they build in some part that can be repeated over and over again to make it fit the time allotment. This movie did that too, but many times, and that made me unhappy. I also didn't like the close-ups of David Hasselhoff's back very much. There also was a lot and when I say a lot I mean a lot a lot of crying scenes.

The king character reminded me of Genie from Aladdin.

Synopsis:
SpongeBob SquarePants and his friend Patrick need to save Bikini Bottom due to the evil that is Plan Z. That Plankton. He's bad. Very bad.

The Incredibles
So people are telling me this was the greatest Pixar movie ever made and I say rubbish. I thought this was the worst Pixar movie I ever saw. Both Toy Stories, Monster's Inc. and Finding Nemo were all better than this. It was slow, it didn't have enough action, it wasn't funny enough but it wasn't serious enough either. It was a little bit of everything, but not much of anything so much of it just was and what it was was boring. Maybe this was an expectations issue but I really expected to laugh and all that and I didn't. Geeze, the first half hour to 45 minutes was excruciatingly slow. So I offer my apologies to all those people that have gone gaga over this movie because I just couldn't feel it and I love superhero stuff.

Synopsis:
All the super heroes are forced into hiding where they have to live mundane lives that pales compared to their days as super heroes. What happens when one of them wants to come back. That is not a good summary, but I'm too disappointed to right anything further.

Dracula (Cable)
So its pre-Halloween and I'm flipping around the channels and there is the 1931 original Dracula which I have never seen and I find myself watching it and I'm amazed at a number of things. One is how short it was, two how in that era they didn't show anything. They always cut right before he'd kill someone or whatever, three was how poorly they did the bat special effects and four was how social Dracula was. I mean he's walking around, going to the orchestra performance, hanging out around the house. He's just there and finally how anti-climatic it is.

Synopsis:
The original Dracula which wasn't based on the book but the musical. Bet you didn't know that. Bet you didn't care either.

Shaun of the Dead
Noocr made me see this movie. No one can make you see a movie, but I felt serious pressure to go see this and it turned out alright again, didn’t it? Honestly I think I would have enjoyed it even more if I hadn’t drank all that water before I left because as the movie was winding down the situation became critical but I didn’t want to miss anything so I endured to the end in a distressed state. It was one of those mostly British type films with lots of restrained merriment that some people enjoy and others abhor. I kind of like that type of humor but I wonder sometimes if it is genuinely trying to be amusing or it’s just the way they are over there. It was a fun spoofy movie and they even parodied a Lando scene from Star Wars. If you are a zombie movie guy you’ll love it, otherwise you’ll either be amused or angry at the movie.

I liked the guy who played his friend. One of the other guys looked exactly like a grown up Harry Potter which was distracting.

Synopsis:
Shaun is a regular guy on the verge of losing his girlfriend and then the zombies come and things get interesting although it takes a while for anyone to realize they are there.

Shall We Dance?
I guess this was OK. It was a nice enough story but some reviewer or something said there was a scene in this movie that surpassed the big “moment” scene in An Officer and a Gentlemen which I guess was the comparison of choice because Richard Gere was in both movies but regardless of all that there was no such scene. I am assuming they are talking about the escalator bit but that didn’t rank up there at all. I think the oddest thing about this movie was that Jennifer Lopez was in it and she didn’t play a tough girl from the street with a softer inside. She played a rather meek character and actually did a good job of it. You know what this was, this was one of those harmless entertainment slightly feel good movies that when you walked out you kind of thought, that was OK, but if it had been on TV I might have either really enjoyed it or turned the channel.

I thought the Susan Sarandon character and all the stuff she did was overboard but what do I know. Some of the subplots were good and I knew that one guy was what he was right away, not that there is anything wrong with that. I think the movie had a real point to make but didn’t.

Synopsis:
Richard Gere is your average business type guy who is in a rut. He sees this woman in the window of a dance studio every night on the way home from the train and then decides that he wants to take lessons and for whatever reasons which I am either unclear on or have forgotten he decides not to tell his family which causes his wife some stress.

One other thing, don’t go anywhere without your star case.

Synopsis:
There are these two kids with strange mental abilities that don’t know where they came from. Then there is an evil bad guy who wants them for his own evil purposes. Then there is a cranky guy in a camper and a cat and Uncle Jessie and an ending that is just to the right of completely wacky.

One thing that bugs me is they seem to be flying through the Spider-Man mythos rather quickly with all the stuff that happened in this movie kind of spanning 30 years of the hero but then I realized that after Spider-Man 3 they'll probably quit making the movies so it doesn't matter. But I didn't like the whole John Jameson-Mary Jane thing. Not good. It's going to be tough to hash through that in the third movie.

As much as I liked Tobey Maguire in the first one and tolerated Kirsten Dunst I don't like them anymore. Tobey is too wimpy to play Spider-Man. As the geek in the first movie he was fine but Peter Parker is supposed to get cooler as he goes along and that ain't gonna happen. Mary Jane is supposed to be like this mega super model and Dunst isn't. Sorry, but that's the way it is there. Also, she's crazy with all this stuff about wanting Spider-Man to die with her pregnant and then the movies taking up with Spider-Baby. Seriously, out of touch craziness.

On the other hand, the guy who plays J. Jonah Jameson is awesome. He nails him perfectly.

They so didn't need that crazy lady with the guitar or violin or whatever that was. And the little sunshiney day thing was weird too. But they did have to work in the classic Spidey suit in the garbage thing.

For those of you that know, they used impact webbing. Cool.

Spider-Man is also very careless about his secret identity. I think it was to give Tobey more action scenes without a mask. I'll bet you a dollar on that. Guess what? You owe me a dollar.

Synopsis:
It's some time later, like a few years I gather but not sure, since Peter Parker became Spider-Man. Now there is a new, much cooler, villain on the loose and Spider-Man has to save the day. He still spins a web, any size.

I was impressed with the woman, Truly Scrumptious (that's her name, seriously, it is) when she did the little dance stuff at the end with the sounds of the gears. It was well done. Not much point to it, but well done.

I was watching the movie and suddenly I was like "Hey, that's Benny Hill." Which it indeed was.

I don't get the name of the car.

I wonder why Dick Van Dyke wasn't bigger in movies than he was. He always is pretty darn good in these old movies.

Synopsis:
There is this inventor and he's got two kids and no money and then he fixes up this old car named Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and meets a woman and then tells a story and then everything gets going and it all works out in the end which you knew it would because it had too.

Synopsis:
Some crazed murderous wizard has escaped from Azkhaban and he's coming after Harry Potter. But what's really going on?

If this movie had been made like 20 years ago, it would have starred Bill Murray.

Shatner Alert: He appears in this movie.

Quotes:
"If you can dodge wrenches, you can dodge a ball."
"If you can dodge traffic, you can dodge a ball"
"Is it necessary for me to drink my own urine? Probably not, but I do it anyways. It's sterile and I like the taste."
"Always remember the five d's of dodgeball: dodge, duck, dip, dive and dodge!"
"Nobody makes me bleed my own blood, nobody."
 

Synopsis:
There are two gyms. One is a piece of crap. The other is one of those palace types. The piece of crap is going to go under if they don't get some money and the way to do that is to win a Dodgeball Tournament. However, the other gym wants to keep them from winning. That explanation sucks.

The ending was OK, it was good, but not satisfying.

There seems to me to be some similarity in appearance between Albert Finney and William Shatner but I may be crazy.

I also haven't decided exactly what the ending meant. At first I thought one thing, but now I think another. The second thought is better. Isn't that insightful and helpful for you? No? I understand.

Synopsis:
Hopping back and forth between the present day and the past we see the fantasy life of Edward Bloom. Or is it fantasy? Or is it somewhere in between? Who really knows? We kind of get the idea from the film, but we aren't really so sure 100% you know.

If it tells you anything, this is the first movie in a long time that I willingly left to go to the bathroom while it was playing.

Swipe here if you want to know the worst and most annoying thing about this movie ===> The worst and most annoying thing about this movie is that it hinted at some great mystery surrounding Van Helsing's origin and his connection to Dracula but they never told you what it was. Jerks. That and the ending smoke thing.

Synopsis:
Van Helsing is employed by the Vatican to take out monsters and other aberrations that displease the church. So they send him after Dracula and a werewolf or two is there along with Frankenstein's monster. Then there is the requisite love stuff and all that.

I was really thrown when they tossed in scene with the Mom berating J-Lo and telling her she should settle for second best and all that. I mean it came out of nowhere which leaves me thinking there was a bit o' editing trouble. But it was another chance to slap you in the face with a message.

Synopsis:
Jennifer Lopez plays a Maid who works in Manhattan (hence the title) and she gets mistaken for a rich lady by a politician who is staying in the hotel she works in (which is in Manhattan where she works. As a maid.) Light-hearted romantic comedy with a bunch of heavy-handed messages ensues.

Side note: We saw this back to back weekends and the first one was with a full house and the second was with a mostly full house. The second audience was kind of dead which tempered the feelings of the movie. It also seemed to go a lot faster. This side note is useless.

Synopsis:
It's the sequel to Shreck. Shreck and Fiona are married and they are going to meet her parents. And there is this cat, Puss... in boots and other merriment.

Synopsis:
It's the sequel to Lilo & Stitch. If you recall, Stitch is experiment 626. Some crazed Gerbil-Like no wait Hamster-Like being wants the other 625 experiments. Everyone who was in the first one is back.

By the way, there are a lot of Stitches.

Synopsis:
It's a remake of this movie from the 50's which was based on a family from the 20's but this one is set in the 00's although it could have been the 90's. Steve Martin has to watch his dozen kids while his wife leaves town for a spell and he's trying to be a big shot football coach. Ashton Kutcher is in the movie too if you care.

Again though, Quentin Tarrantino deserves an award for making Darryl Hannah and Uma Thurman very convincing.

Synopsis:
Not really a sequel, but the second half of Vol. 2 where The Bride gets her revenge on those that shot up her wedding. All leading up to her final confrontation with Bill. And, hoo boy, there is a minor twist at the end that leaves you thinking "eh?"

I did like how they slipped in all the references to the original series' opening credits with the hand reaching out of that tuba shaped thing on the boat decks that Popeye always used to get stuck in to try and grab Daphne and Fred falling backward on the chair etc.

Oh, and I figured out right away who the bad guy was but then there was a twist on that which I wasn't prepared for and was then awed by its unrealisticness. (I made up a word!!)

Synopsis:
Scooby and the gang... you know, they always begin like that. Let's try this... Velma and the gang go to... nah, doesn't work. Scooby and the gang go to Australia for a vacation and find themselves in a mystery involving an Australian vampire named the Yowie Yahoo which is a hybrid of the "Yahoo, Yahoo" or "Yowies" which is the equivalent of an Australian Big Foot. Hairy man-like creatures that live in the bush and are sighted from time to time. A marsupial Sasquatch if you will. The Yowie is kidnapping members of rock bands and the gang have gotta find out what's up with all that.

Synopsis:
It's set in fairytale land but with a modern swing to it. Ella get kind of shortchanged when an incompetent fairy grants a gift upon her as a child that compels her to do whatever anyone ever tells her to do. The gift of obedience.

I think that I have kids and that he wasted these kids' time kind of bugged me.

Synopsis:
Jack Black is "in a band" which typically translates into being a failure. Then he gets fired by the band and needs money. So he poses as a substitute teacher and decides to use the kids to further his music endeavors.

Synopsis:
OK, Evan Treborn is this guy who growing up had all these blackouts and "lost time" episodes who grows up to learn that he can travel through time and alter history. So he does to fix things up. But does it really fix things up? What do you think ace?

Synopsis:
OK, Evan Treborn is this guy who growing up had all these blackouts and "lost time" episodes who grows up to learn that he can travel through time and alter history. So he does to fix things up. But does it really fix things up? What do you think ace?

Interesting note: I have given two Grants in this review section (although Dr. T and the Women was even worse than a Grant) and both movies featured to some degree the Blue Fairy from Pinocchio. Wonder what that means?

Synopsis:
This dog who dresses up like a boy because that's what he wants to be learns there is a scientist (presumably mad) who can change animals into people which I'm not sure of the value of but the dog thinks it's a good idea since it is his life long dream. Meanwhile his owner, this kid, wants his dog to be a dog, or maybe he wants to be a dog. There is a bird and a cat too.

Synopsis:
Two sisters and their Mom and Dad are Irish immigrants to the United States and I realized later that they were actually illegal immigrants. The story is narrated by one of the sisters and I thought it was the other one, not the one that it was, for about half of the movie. Shows you what I know.

Synopsis:
Tom Cruise is a drunk veteran of the Indian Wars (which is what they were called. I'm not being non-PC) who is hired to go to Japan to teach Western warfare to the Japanese so they can rid themselves of the Samarai and then come back to fight the United States in World War II but that's another story. There he learns about honor. Hoo.

Synopsis:
Aw, I don't know. Inman meets Nicole Kidman and after a few brief encounters they become crazy 'bout each other but then he has to go fight the Yanks so they are split up. Bad stuff happens, especially to Nicole, but then they get straightened up only to have some more bad stuff happen. Inman walks a long way and has "encounters" while the farm goes to heck. Then Ruby comes and lays down the sass. There is some weird stuff with goats. I give up.

I did like that they threw in the elves making etch-a-sketches and the snowman guy from Rudolph. They said there were three jobs that elves could do, fix shoes, make cookies or make toys. I thought they should have had the option of being a dentist.

Synopsis:
A human child ends up at the North Pole where he is raised by Elves. A bit like Tarzan except its elves instead of apes and they are a lot more civilized. Then he wants to come back to the human world and he's turns out to be kind of dumb.

Funny thing, it's a kid movie and right off the bat you get to see a guy hang himself. Boy, the kids dig that kind of stuff.

Synopsis:
A movie based on the Haunted Mansion ride at Disney World. Or is it Disney Land? Does it matter? Basically Eddie Murphy is a semi-sleazy real estate guy who doesn't have his priorities straight. They need to go visit a Haunted Mansion to get that all worked out. There's ghosts and a head in a ball.

The Cat and the Hat
I know I'm going to get crap for this one but I loved this movie. I was laughing the entire time. Maybe this was a case of reverse expectations because the reviews were so bad but this movie was incredible. So many little jokes and great lines. Mike Myers was weird as The Cat, but then, he was really good too. He was not Austin Powers in a cat suit. The one thing I have to say for sure about this is that it was high energy and it never lagged. It never had the slow droopy parts that you have to slog through. It started off with a bang and just kept going until the end. I was totally ready to watch it again the moment the credits started to roll. I loved how they worked in some of the pictures from the books like when he's balancing on the ball. One thing though, the truth is, I never liked The Cat and the Hat as far as The Cat goes. I thought he was a jerk and should of gotten the heck out of there when the kids asked. How rude is it to just show up and take a bath at someone's house you've never been too before and then leave pink rings and all that. But enough about the book, the movie ruled. Better than the book.

GREAT SCENE ALERT: You know me, I love those little quick scenes that just look cool and this one had one. Near the end, when the Mom comes home and The Cat exits out the back door. Very cool.

Synopsis: They took like a 10 page kids book and turned it into a full-length movie. It's the Cat and the Hat. He shows up, makes a mess, cleans up, everyone learns a lesson.

Old School (DVD)
How many times did I have people say "You haven't seen Old School yet?" And the I was at this event where an individual had a bit too much to drink and everyone kept chanting "Frank the Tank, Frank the Tank" and being that I hadn't seen the movie I felt excluded by my own doings. So anticipation was high when I sat down to watch this movie and the results were poor. It just wasn't funny. It had a great premise, but it didn't do anything with it and frequently I felt like I was watching a very long Saturday Night Live skit. Will Ferrell was funny, and there were funny parts, but mostly it was just there. This lifeless morass.

Synopsis: I don't know really. I guess its about a fraternity of people that aren't in school which is all done so the main guy can keep his house. Meanwhile throw in some cheese about doing what you believing and an evil dean of the school.

Brother Bear
We had the Happy Meal, excuse me, Mega Meal Toys for Brother Bear before we saw the movie. That has no bearing on this review, but I like to share. One of the toys is a bobble head moose that came with directions. Basically you put the moose on the table and touch its head with your finger. I think its better if you pound your fist against the table. Anyway. The movie was OK but it kind of made me think that maybe Roy Disney was right because Disney movies haven't been all that great lately. The big one, Lilo and Stitch, wasn't even that great. Peter Pan II was so-so. The ending was very implausible and borderline silly. I almost felt like they were having the movie so they could launch an as yet to be announced TV show. I will say this. The two moose were very funny. They were the highlight of the show and I wish they'd been in it a lot more. The little bits at the end during the credits were also very funny.

Synopsis: It's a Disney flick about a guy that becomes a bear to learn how to love. It's got all the Disney formulaic schlock. Otherwise, as has been the trend with kid shows lately, its too complicated to explain.

Synopsis: Does this matter? It's a mix of real world and cartoons as we visit Bugs Bunny and friends who are just like regular people in this world. Daffy and Brendan Fraser end up on a quest to find the Blue Monkey before the evil Acme Corporation finds it. Why do they want the Blue Monkey and what is it? For shame. You have to see the movie.

Matrix: Revolutions
Ouch. Talk about going downhill fast. This plot less charade was basically two long action scenes with very little story in between. I guess all that had been set up in the first movies but this one has basically nothing from Morpheous and not nearly enough of Agent Smith who is the best bad guy in any movie in recent memory. It was a lot of talking and watching ships fly around with squidy robots hanging off of it. All the plot talk and intrigue that the second movie set up were ignored. The talk of a Matrix in a Matrix, or what the real story was of why Neo can zap things outside of the Matrix were never answered. They didn’t answer much of anything. They just worked it out to some kind of vague conclusion. Now Noocr tried to give me a bunch of explanations to what happened but I still think he was just pulling stuff out of the air. I have about a dozen “Why’s” that this movie didn’t answer. I was mildly entertained, but I was largely disappointed. What a waste.

Synopsis: The third part of the Matrix series where everything gets resolved (kind of). They seriously should have just left it at the first one. It was more interesting.

Note: Uma Thurman should only appear in movies directed by Quentin Tarantino. She was good in this, great in Pulp Fiction. Otherwise….

Synopsis: Already told you. Someone messed with Uma Thurman’s character (called The Bride) now she’s back and those that wronged her are gonna get what for.

Oh God, You Devil! (Cable)
I watched it, therefore I must review it. This was on the ol’ digital cable which I have now and so I get to see lots of movies that I never saw or saw a long time ago. First Oh God! was on with John Denver which is a really great movie but I can’t review it cause I saw it before but this one came on next and I had seen it and somehow I ended up watching the whole thing. It was ok in a lame sequel the whole idea is getting tired its time to move on kind of way.

Synopsis: Some bored guy makes a deal with the devil and the devil looks like George Burns. Then the guy doesn't like the deal, but tough crap when dealing with the Devil. Then God, who also looks like George Burns, comes along and tries to work things out. Look, the movie is like 20 years old its not like you're going to go rent it or something.

Horse Crazy (Cable)
Canso dug this movie about horses so we all had to watch it. It was a “cute” movie. I actually kind of got into it. It was typical kid fair stuff with the kids being smarter than the evil adults but then again, these adults were extremely dumb. They even threw in a little love thing. And there was this thing with a rope and a rattle snake rattle that was funny. I don’t know. I’m not even sure why I’m reviewing this movie. Oh, one of the actors name is Arizona Taylor. He hasn’t done any other movies since (2001) but that was his name.

Synopsis: OK, so these kids want to go get themselves some horses and they hear there are wild horses in Nevada so they stow away in the back of their brother’s car with the idea of sneaking out of the car, snagging a horse and then riding it home in time for dinner. However, while all this is happening, horse thieves (they do exist still) are planning to horsenap (made up a term) a horse to take to Mexico for the bucks. You know, sometimes I think it’s harder to explain kid movie plots.

Synopsis: Bill Murray plays a movie actor whose by himself in Japan filming a commercial where he kind of hooks up with a girl whose been pretty much abandoned by her husband leaving her in the same situation. Lots of slow moving developments occur which leaves you feeling frustrated.

Synopsis: Over-protected girl wanders into the forest and discovers an odd family that seems to be from another time which they are because they drank water from this tree. Does she stay, does she go, what happens to the family. Gotta watch the movie to find out but you probably won’t care all that much.

Synopsis: She’s Greek. Her family is deeply traditional. She’s supposed to marry a Greek boy. But she falls for a non-Greek and chaos ensues. You could insert any ethnicity/religion thing in this and have a movie.

One thing, I don’t think I have seen a movie that had more open-mouth scenes. What’s an open-mouth scene? That’s where the actor is looking at something in semi-disbelief, grief, or awe and they have their mouth open to reflect that. Jeff Bridges is the master of the open-mouth scene, but Chris Cooper did it a lot too. Watch the movie, you’ll see.

Getting the guy who does all the PBS documentaries to do the narration was cool, but it made the movie kind of a documentary/movie hybrid that was a bit weird.

Synopsis: The story of Seabiscuit - an extraordinary horse that caught the imagination of a country needing heroes and his owner, his jockey and his trainer. That’s about sums it up.

One thing that was funny is that Jeff Daniels reprises his role as Joshua Chamberlain which he also played in Gettysburg. However, being that he’s older, he’s filled out more and such so when shown chronologically he gets skinnier. Maybe it’s the ravages of war. 

Robert Duvall is a better Lee than Martin Sheen and they finally got a descent beard for the guy playing Longstreet.

I wanted to like this more, it was just kind of boring though.

Synopsis: It’s the prequel to Gettysburg beginning at Lee refusing to take command of the Union Army to right before Gettysburg. Bull Run, The Wilderness, that kind of stuff. If you are looking for more Civil War movies, you can find some back in Drama.

Synopsis: In this world, Allan Quartermain, Tom Sawyer, the Invisible Man, Dorian Gray, Captain Nemo etc. all actually exist. There is trouble afoot and the only ones who can stop it (in this case, a World War) is The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.

Synopsis: Chopper is a dog, Todd is a fox. As young ones, they are friends and play. But when Chopper gets older, he becomes a hunting dog and a fox and a hunting dog can't be friends, or can they... The suspense is killing you.

Synopsis: Four hormonal kids make a vow to bed a girl before high school ends. They all take various approaches with different results. That is the most boring summary I have ever written.

Synopsis: A far-fetched simplistic view of the 50s where a married woman finds out her husband is gay and she's interested in a bi-racial relationship.

Synopsis: The life of Frida Kahlo, a famous Mexican painter I'd never heard of starting with the her childhood through her marriage to Diego Rivera to her death. She also has an affair with Trotsky.

Synopsis: Ang Lee's bizarre version of the Hulk. I'd tell the plot, but its pointless. There is a Hulk poodle. Here's hoping that someday they make a real Hulk movie.

Synopsis: Nemo, a young Clown Fish, is raised by his over-protective father and then gets taken by divers and so Marlin, the dad, has to go look for him with the help of this other fish.

Synopsis: It's the 50's all over again. Catcher Block man's man, man about town blah, blah, blah, blows off an interview with Barbara Novak who has written a book "Down with Love" yes, that's why they named the movie what they did, because he assumes she's an old spinster. Then he sees what she really looks like and stuff really gets going. He pretends he's an astronaut, does the apartment switcheroo, all the old clichés. Totally fun.

Synopsis: It's the sequel to the Matrix. Duh.

Synopsis: It's the sequel to The X-Men about a team of super heroic mutants. All they want to do is get along, but there is the White House and a bunch of secret government so and so's think they are a threat to they come up with a way to kill them, kill them all. It's up to the X-Men to save the world, even when it seems the world wants to get rid of them. Magneto is there too, the evil bad guy from last movie, but this time, he's not that bad.

Synopsis: Harry goes back to wizard school. There he learns the Chamber of Secrets has been... oh who am I kidding. We've all read the book or seen the movie haven't we?

Synopsis: Rabbit he can rap, but his life's a bunch of crap
His Mom lives in a trailer, and his past is his own jailer
his friends in him they believe, but his girl, she just leaves,
He wants to win the contest, but he can't seem to do his best
when the crowd is watching him, when the crowd is watching him
then someone draws a gun, and that ends the fun
he finds a new nice girl, but what she does makes him hurl
he sees her cheatin' through the glass, and he kicks the guy's ass
but it's his own ass that's grass, he's pounded of so crass
so it's on to the contest, and he finally does his best
and he takes it for the win, yes, he takes it for the win

Synopsis: It's like nightmare reality TV. They are making this cop show and Robert Dinero is the real cop and Eddie Murphy is an actor and they stick a camera in the car. I don't know, that's the best I can do. I didn't watch it start to finish so I may have missed something key.

Synopsis: Suddenly everyone feels like Piglet is too small to be of any use to them in the Hundred Acre Wood and conversely, suddenly Piglet is a lot more competent than he ever was. This change in Pooh conventions, results in Piglet feeling rather put out by his friends and he kind of leaves (I was getting the popcorn buttered because I had failed to do this correctly before the movie and it tasted like Pooh so I don't know for sure why he left.) Anyway, later, Pooh, Rabbit etc. realize he's missing (very un-Pooh like as I mentioned) and they go look for him using Piglet's scrapbook which they stole from his house. This leads them through all sorts of memories where we learn what a jerk Rabbit is and how conceited Pooh can be. We also see Eeyore smile which prompted my daughter to ask me what was wrong with him. Then it all works out. Carly Simon sings a song and kind of "gets funky" with a kids song during the closing credits. The world then came to an end because the longest review on this site is for a Piglet movie. I anticipate next will be Eeyore's Boring Adventure.

Synopsis: The true story of pianist Wladyslaw Szpilman, a Polish Jew who witnesses the restrictions Nazis place on Jews in the Polish capital during the German occupation. It starts with restrictions on going into certain building to the creation of the Warsaw Ghetto. After his family is taken away to labor camps, the movie depicts how he survived by hiding in the city and moving about the ruins of Warsaw.

The thing that unnerved me is also a spoiler so swipe here: I didn't like that Daredevil killed people in the beginning. It just didn't sit right with me and it took me awhile to put it out of my mind.

Synopsis: Matt Murdock by day is a blind lawyer, at night he's a blind superhero named Daredevil who has a very bad attitude. He meets a girl who happens to be a pretty tough customer and fights a deranged assassin who works for a big crime boss. Look, it's standard superhero stuff so what do you want?

Synopsis: Not exactly what I thought. It's the musical Chicago on the screen. That was expected, I mean the title is Chicago. But the story itself wasn't what I thought. A girl kills a guy and it goes from there. There's some singing, some dancing you know... the whole bit. There's also a  little bit of the ol' razzle dazzle too. Ha. Had to do that. I'm funny.

It was fine. I learned something about Elephants. They are very social creatures. Much more than I would have thought. In fact, they are touchy feely animals. Very much so. And that's not bad.

There is some dramatic moments. The charging elephant actually scared the kids. In fact, there was also some death in the movie and that didn't sit well with the kids. They didn't like that much. And usually in movies when someone dies or something bad happens you can say "Hey, it's OK Canem, it's just a movie." But in this case, the movie was about something real so it was an empty bit of reassurance.

Synopsis:The story of a tribe of elephants told from the point of view of an elephant. It follows them through feast and famine in Africa. Did you know that when an elephant wants to show off how strong it is and there's no one to fight it'll take out a tree.

Synopsis: The true story of Antwone Fisher. A boy who grew up in very trying times and then went into the Navy where all the problems from his childhood come back to emotionally haunt him. Thrown in for kicks is a psychiatrist with some home front trouble with his wife.

Gollum was very cool. Best CG character ever. But not the best animation interactive character ever. That would be Roger Rabbit. Really. I'm serious.

Synopsis: Ok the story continues. Frodo and Sam are off on their lonesome with the ring of power, then they mean Gollum. Meanwhile back at the ranch the Elven chick is filled with angst and decides she should walk with a group of elves holding a candle, meanwhile the two other Hobbits go sit in a walking tree and the rest of them run around as the Orc/Goblin hybrid creatures prepare for war.

Synopsis: Warren Schmidt retires. Then there is a big tragedy and that sends him on a road trip to self discovery. He drives around, experiences some stuff, and then goes to his daughter's wedding where she is marrying the Mullet King and Schmidt meets his future son-in-law's "interesting" family. Then, at the end, you get hit with the big message. "For the price of a cup of coffee you can make the difference in people's lives."

A make or break spoiler (swipe to read) -> There is a nude scene... with Kathy Bates

Synopsis: It's Robert Louis Stevenson's Treasure Island redone in space. Now I could just leave it at that, but I'm assuming that you've read Treasure Island. I haven't read Treasure Island so I didn't know what it was about. Read the book, then you'll know. Ha ha. Seriously, there is a planet with a lot of treasure on it. Oh, you probably got that from the title. Well, this young ne're-do-well finds the map. So then they set forth and Long John Silver is there too. And a robot voiced by Martin Short that is not as funny as I was led to believe.

Of course helping this movie a lot was Dennis Quaid. He is one of my favorite actors. However, the actress who played his wife plays Brenda in the HBO show Six Feet Under and now I really understand type-casting because I kept expecting her to flip out and say something weird.

Synopsis: Another based on a true story movie chronicling the story of Jimmy Morris. A one-time minor league baseball washout who makes a deal with his players that if they win their district championship he'll try out for a major league baseball team. They do, he does, and ends up in the major leagues where he strikes out the first batter he faces. Great story.

Synopsis: The adventures of Frank Abagnale Jr. who was the worlds most successful con artist and the guy who caught him, Carl Hanratty. It starts with how he got into the scam game, goes through his scams, details how he got caught and how he ended up. Interesting. I need to find out how much of it was true though.

Oh, one big blown opportunity though. Us Trek fans get all giddy when there are references to other movies. There is a Voyager person in this movie and she rattles off references to a bunch of other movies. Riker says "Use maneuver Kirk Epsilon" and one of the ships is the U.S.S. Archer. That gets us all excited. So when they were looking into information on Shinzon they so easily could have said "Did anyone get in touch with Ambassador Spock" since he's supposed to be on Romulus. But alas, they didn't. Bummage.

Synopsis: It sounds dumb. But anyway. A human has become head of the Romulan Empire and Holy Spit! it's a clone of Picard. That's silly. Stupid even. But alas, it works. There is a death of a character though, with a wide open way of bringing him back. There's a wedding, not enough Worf and just enough Troi and Crusher. By the way, Wesley Crusher "Shut up Wesley" just kind of shows up sitting there at the table. There he is. No explanation, no dialog. I guess just a reminder that he's still around.

They need to use Q in one of these movies since I'm sure they'll make more.

Synopsis: Dr. Evil recruits Goldmember to kidnap Austin Powers' Dad, Nigel Powers. Austin has to get Nigel back and he gets help from Foxy Cleopatra. The usual stuff happens after that.

Synopsis: Crop circles form in an ex-minister's corn fields which turns out to be signs of much bigger things going down in the world. 

Note: Canca Brmpt noticed a major continuity error. There is one scene that takes place in a major downpour. However, the next morning, there is still snow on the ground. Oopsie poopsie.   

Synopsis: Tom Hanks is a mobster working for Paul Newman. Hanks is a family guy with a job that requires him to kill people. Then some developments turn him against his former employees and he isn't going to stop until he gets his revenge. His son is along for the ride.

Synopsis: The continuing adventures of a mouse named Stuart. This time he deals with the continual rejection of being a mouse in a human world and makes a new friend in the process.

However, I did love MoJo JoJo's rant about the plans. This line saved the movie from Grantdom

"Do not continue with your ramblings! For my ramblings are the ramblings to be obeyed, for I am King Supreme Leader and All-Around Dictator! It was I who laid the original plan and set it into motion!
Don't you see... all you monkeys are my plan! So your plans are my plans because you made plans and my plan was to make you! But I never planned for my plans to make plans to stop my plan! I planned to rule this planet, not to have my plans plan to stop me, the planner of you! So stop! Cease! Desist! I am your creator, I am your King! I am Mojo Jojo! Obey Meeeeee!!!"

Synopsis: It's a prequel to the cartoon series. We learn the complete origin of the PowerPuff Girls, Blossum, Buttercup and Bubbles and watch their first adventure together where we learn how they decided to become super heroes.

Synopsis: Lilo is some kind of social outcast. She and her sister are trying to get it together so Lilo doesn't get pulled out of their home by a social worker. Then, they go to adopt a dog but it is really a dangerous space creature designed to destroy. They call him Stitch.

Synopsis: In the year 2050 murder is prevented before it happens. Tom Cruise works for a pre-crime organization that protects the citizens of Washington DC. The for vague shadowy reasons he gets set up, but is he set up, and if he is, why is he set up and who did it?

Synopsis: There's some kind of threat against the fictional Miss United State pageant and the FBI needs to infiltrate to find out what's going on so they take socially misdirected Sandra Bullock and make her into a contestant.

Synopsis: Scooby Doo and his buddies get the movie with real life people playing them treatment as they go to a "haunted" island.

It's tragic, but I seem to have accidently deleted the original review of this sometime ago. Anyway, I didn't like this movie much. It was like one bad thing happens after another to this lousy horse that only has himself to blame for all his troubles. What I really didn't like though was how this whole thing was like "white man bad" now I'm not saying there were some things that could have been done differently back then, there were. But these revisionist heavy message movies just leave me cold.

Synopsis: Spirit is in charge of the herd. Than the white man shows up, he investigates and finds himself separated from the herd inside an army fort. Bad white man tries to beat him down by force, then good Native American lad saves him and tries to beat him down through love and understanding. In the end, the two of them escape to presumably a better life until the white man comes through and paves over everything. (They didn't show any of that last part in the movie.)

Synopsis: Somehow or other self-centered guy played by Hugh Grant ends up caring for this dweeby kid with a bad haircut and a "earthy" yet suicidal Mother.

Synopsis: Hey, it's Star Wars.

Synopsis: Scooby and the gang, all growed up and everything, go visit a college buddy, get zapped into a computer (kinda like Tron) and end up teaming up with themselves to overcome a mean ol' virus and some villains from their past. (Think Creeper.) All this in order to solve a mystery. Ooh.

Synopsis: Spider-Man, Spider-Man, he does whatever a spider can. Spins a web, any size, catches thieves just like flies. Look out, here comes the Spider-Man. What else is there to say? The origin of the coolest superhero ever.

Synopsis: Jimmy Neutron is a boy genius who is on the verge of communicating with an alien civilization. Then it happens with dire consequences. Oh man, this sounds like the back of the video box. Oh well.

Synopsis: Oh c'mon. You know. E.T. is a stranded alien and Elliot is the human who befriends him. Elliot's brother and sister help out and there is a man with keys.

Synopsis: The Ice Age is coming and everyone heads south. However, an annoying sloth is left behind and he teams up with a disgruntled wooly mammoth. They then undertake a quest to save a human boy and are accompanied by a sneaky saber tooth tiger. It's like real life, but with animals.

Synopsis: A man with the mental capacity of a seven year old and who really likes the Beatles runs into trouble with mean ol' social workers (in movies social workers are always mean) who feel that he is holding back the development of his daughter. He gets Michelle Pfieffer, a hardened outside hiding a vulnerable inside type person, to be his lawyer. General feel goodness spreads all around as everyone learns from everyone. Everyone that is except the mean ol' social worker.

Synopsis: Driven by tragedy, the main guy who I seem to have forgotten the name of, builds a time machine to fix the past but finds he can't. So then he ends up way in the future because he figures their will be research about why you can't change the past. There he runs into mutant refuges from the Planet of the Apes and the 7-Up guy who is really just a hologram.

Synopsis: It's years later. Wendy has grown up and has a daughter Jane. Following the Disney tradition of reversing the earlier story, Jane is all business and grown up. The opposite of how Wendy was. (Blame WWII) and she goes to Neverland to learn how to be a kid again. Peter Pan is there and he says hello.

Synopsis: Young Shakespeare has to write a play and needs inspiration. He finds it and writes some show about a guy named Romeo.

Synopsis: Drugs. Everyone wants drugs, is using drugs, is trying to stop people from selling drugs or are getting arrested for distributing drugs. It's about drugs.

Synopsis: What happened in 1993 in Somalia.

Synopsis: John Nash is a brilliant mathematician who is schizophrenic and yet wins the Nobel Prize. It's all true, really. Except most of it. His name is Nash though. John Nash. That part is true.

Synopsis: I can't say, it gives everything away. Let's see, there's domestic violence and a lack of communication. How's that?

Synopsis: Billy wants to dance. His Dad doesn't want him too. He is not a puff, but his friend is.

Synopsis: There is this religiously oppressed town and then the lead arrives and opens a chocolate shop which upsets everyone. Then Johnny Depp shows up and he's a pirate.

Synopsis: Bilbo brought back a bad ring. Frodo has to destroy it and only he can do it with a little help from his friends, Sam, Gandalf, the whole shebang.

Synopsis: Tom Cruise is a wealthy, handsome guy who can't find satisfaction with crazy Cameron Diaz and instead falls for Penelope Cruz. Then there is a car accident, scarring, an odd mask and a real dumb ending.

Synopsis: All these crazy obsessed people want their dog to win the dog show.

Synopsis: Is Michelle Pfieffer crazy, or is there a spook in the house. And what does Harrison Ford have to do with all this. Can Michelle Pfieffer move any slower?

Synopsis: Sully and Mike work for a company that powers monster city by canning children's screams. Then a kid passes through the door into monster world and everything goes blooey.

Synopsis: If you don't know by now, read the book.

Synopsis: Haley Joel Osmet is this kid with an idea that you do the good deed for someone and they do it for two other people all the good will spread all over. Watch the movie and see where it gets him.

If you want to learn more about Jack the Ripper, go to your local library or visit the web at www.casebook.org But don't forget to come back.

Synopsis: Who the hell is Jack the Ripper?

Synopsis: The girl believes in testing fate so she writes her name and number in a book and sells it to a used book store. If John Cusak finds it, they were meant to be together. Will he find it, if so, in time?

Synopsis: Bridget Jones is a single girl who has personal troubles all shown in comedic fashion.

Synopsis: The Emperor tries to fire his witch assistant and there is a mess up and instead of killing him she turns him into a llama. Then there is comic chaos as she tries to find him and he tries to get home and turn human.

Synopsis: Jay and Silent Bob get yanked because someone is making a movie based on their life without their permission. So they go through all of Kevin Smith's past movies on their way to Hollywood and get framed in the process.

Synopsis: A guy who wasn't even supposed to be there has to run the convenience store while interacting with various people and playing hockey.

Synopsis: Something about people that hang out in the mall all day.

Synopsis: A human ends up on a planet dominated by Apes. Oh, c'mon you knew that already.

Synopsis: Nicolas Cage gets to see what his life would be like if he made other choices. 

Synopsis: The epic behind the scenes battle between dogs and cats. (Notice how I reversed it from the title. Clever!!)

Synopsis: Haley Joel is a robot kid, they adopt him, then the real kid comes back and Haley Joel freaks everyone out while trying to become a real boy. Then all this time passes and we learn nothing profound.

Synopsis: There is a dinosaur that has a fin on it that is even badder than a T-Rex. That's all you need to know.

Synopsis: Nicole Kidman shows that she can make better movies than Tom Cruise when she and her two kids find themselves living in a haunted house.

Synopsis: A movie star (Roberts) falls for a regular guy who also falls for her but they can't seem to get it together.

Synopsis: It's a spectacular spectacular. 

Synopsis: In the land of fairy tales Shreck has to go rescue the Princess Fiona on behalf of the short Lord Farquaad.

Synopsis: Scamp wants to be a wild dog. Who doesn't?

Synopsis: Years later there is more mayhem by Hannibal Lecture as we see more ways to gross everyone out. Clarise pursues him as does a French police officer. A kid eats brain. Oh, if they had just left the good doctor alone.

Synopsis: A slave becomes the most powerful man in Rome. Man, that sounds intimidating.

Synopsis: Bruce Willis discovers that there really are people with powers. However it takes him a long time to figure it out because he is dull.

Synopsis: Well, first there are are a lot of butterflies, then there is this young girl in the city, then a Flamingo is given a yo-yo and a toy soldier takes on a jack in the box. Donald Duck is on Noah's ark, Mickey Mouse shows up and then this green flying girl. I don't know.

Synopsis: It's about Jews during the holocaust and how one man helped his family deal with it. No jokes here.

Synopsis: Tom Hanks gets stuck on a island with a volleyball and a picture of his girlfriend. Oh, and there are packages.

Synopsis: I really don't know. Dr. T hangs out with a lot of woman and they are all crazy. This movie blows.

Synopsis: The chickens are all destined to end up as pot pies unless someone can save them.

Synopsis: The chicken man steals Woody and Buzz and the rest want him back. 

Synopsis: The X-Men are mutants who wear a lot of leather. They have to stop Magneto.

Synopsis: A prison guard who can't pee finds himself watching over a strange prisoner with moths in his mouth. 

Synopsis: Everything we know is a computer program. We really live in bubbles of goo with things in our heads. This has to stop.

Synopsis: Man raised by apes meets people. Some of the people are mean. We know what happens to mean people is Disney movies.

Synopsis: Jim Carrey has a split personality. One nice pushover, the other not. Comic high jinx ensue as bad people go after Renee Zgefiedsdfsldder (you try to spell it) who is under Carrey's protection.

Synopsis: Don't mess with Mel Gibson when he is a guy reluctant to fight against the British. He can only be pushed so far before he gets out the tomahawk.

Synopsis: The true to life conjecture story about what happened to a group of fishermen who got caught in the storm of the century.